Solitude Helps Us to See Our True Value

Solitude is not a pleasant experience. This spiritual discipline, while helpful to our spiritual life, can often be uncomfortable. 

I woke this morning feeling worthless. Have you ever felt this way? For the first part of the morning I could not think of anything I had to do. My wife asked me, as she was leaving for work,"What are you going to do today?" And I simply was not sure how to respond. I felt adrift at sea, floating in a state of meaninglessness. I felt that I had no purpose, I was not aware of anything that I needed to accomplish. No one needed me today, and I had no expectations to fulfill. Normally, this would be a good thing. But for me, today, the feeling was somewhat horrifying.

Yesterday morning I woke from a dream in which I was lost and afraid, I was surrounded by all kinds of evil and I could not get to safety even though I could see it just off in the distance. This morning I woke from a dream in which I was again, lost, but lost in the feeling of not having anything to do. That feeling carried over into the day. I am so used to having a plan; a meeting to attend or a class to teach or attend. I feel as if my existence depends on my being busy. I feel that I am valued by what I do; I have come to value my own life on what I have scheduled to do; on how much someone else depends on me.

What if I didn't accomplish anything? What if I had nothing to contribute? What if no one needed me? What would that be like? What if there were no others in my life depending on me or giving me value?
How would that look? Of course these are rhetorical questions, there is no way for me to really know the answers to these questions.

There are some, though, who may know how this feels. I think of those who are alone in a nursing home; those who have no family to come see them; those who rely on others to care for them and keep them alive in a state that they probably would rather not live. But all people are valuable because their value comes from the creator and savior God.

While it is not comfortable, it is good to reflect on such things periodically. It is good to dive down into the depth of our own soul, to practice intentional solitude. So often we are able to cover up all these thoughts and feelings about the nature of our value by filling up our lives with activity. There is always something to do, right? I find it helpful from time to time to purposely engage in these questions so that I can be reminded of my true worth. My  true value, and yours, is in the fact that we were created by God; a God who loves us and gave Himself for us, not only that , He gives us his Spirit to be with us now.

Oh, Lord, that you would give us eyes to see that our true worth is derived from you. Amen.

Accept This Truth

What are the deepest longings of my heart?

To love and to be loved; to reach out in love without holding back because of fear; to express feelings in ways that bless and encourage others and myself. I want to know that I am walking in God’s Spirit and not in self-preservation or self-exaltation.

I want to be fully alive; fully myself as God created me to be. I want to be fully healed so that I can be fully myself. I want to live fully in the grace and power and love of God. I want to be like Jesus!

I want to be a healer. I want others to receive their healing. I want to fully care for others and lead them into fully becoming themselves. I want to do this without any kind of selfish desire muddying it up.

I want to know and experience that I am loved and accepted just as I am. I want to quit being so damn hard on myself. I want to be ok with me. I want to stop putting so much pressure on myself. And so, stop putting so much pressure on others.

What if the Christian life was really more about learning to receive God’s love than about becoming more holy? Really, in receiving God’s love; the more I receive it, the more fully I enter into his love the more I enter into holiness. It is His love that changes me, not my efforts to fix myself… or anyone else.

Somehow I know this is true. And yet there is always a hinderance to really fully entering into this truth.

God loves me! And it is his love that transforms me. I am in the beloved of God! I was included into the beloved when Christ died on the cross for me.

Jesus often asks us, “What do you want? What do you want me to do for you?” Well, this is it Lord, I want to live fully in your love. I want to be able, without hesitation, to fully give you love.

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Prayer for Creativity

Dear Lord,

You are the Lord of our creative endeavors. Let all the things we do; all the things we say; all the decisions we make, be completed in the same spirit of creativity that you gave to Bezalel.

For he was able to give beautiful and meaningful substance to the place where the Israelites were to meet with you in the desert

Now Lord, we, your church are that place. Help us to live as producers; as creators of beauty with substance and meaning in all that we do

Keep us from the sin of presuming that which is pragmatic is always your way

Let us abandon ourselves to creatively worship you in spirit and truth that our creative work may be a sweet fragrant offering to you, so that the fragrance of the knowledge of your glory may be spread everywhere

Amen