What are the deepest longings of my heart?
To love and to be loved; to reach out in love without
holding back because of fear; to express feelings in ways that bless and
encourage others and myself. I want to know that I am walking in God’s Spirit
and not in self-preservation or self-exaltation.
I want to be fully alive; fully myself as God created me to
be. I want to be fully healed so that I can be fully myself. I want to live
fully in the grace and power and love of God. I want to be like Jesus!
I want to be a healer. I want others to receive their healing.
I want to fully care for others and lead them into fully becoming themselves. I
want to do this without any kind of selfish desire muddying it up.
I want to know and experience that I am loved and accepted just
as I am. I want to quit being so damn hard on myself. I want to be ok with me.
I want to stop putting so much pressure on myself. And so, stop putting so much
pressure on others.
What if the Christian life was really more about learning to
receive God’s love than about becoming more holy? Really, in receiving God’s
love; the more I receive it, the more fully I enter into his love the more I enter
into holiness. It is His love that changes me, not my efforts to fix myself… or
anyone else.
Somehow I know this is true. And yet there is always a
hinderance to really fully entering into this truth.
God loves me! And it is his love that transforms me. I am in
the beloved of God! I was included into the beloved when Christ died on the cross
for me.
Jesus often asks us, “What do you want? What do you want me
to do for you?” Well, this is it Lord, I want to live fully in your love. I
want to be able, without hesitation, to fully give you love.
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.
