Choices, Choices...

“If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.” Geddy Lee of Rush
I used to be a barista at Starbucks. I was amazed at how certain people could come in and order a drink without even looking at the menu. They had their regular drink. In fact, as I got to know these certain ones I could begin making their drink before they even got to the counter. Others would come in and take what seemed like eternity to decide what drink they wanted. In both cases the individuals were exercising the power of free will; they were making a choice. We all have this power. We live in a country where the freedom of choice is greatly cherished, and rightly so. But, have you ever stopped to consider the dark side of choice? Having too many choices often causes us problems. Some say this is why we have such an obesity epidemic in America. “I have a choice of what I can eat and of how much and by golly I am going to use it.” Sometimes choice can be crippling. The newbie at the Starbucks counter is a great illustration of this.
I just finished a great article in the recent Bicycling magazine about Scott Cutshall. This man has become my hero! He went from a whopping 500 and some-odd pounds to 170 pounds. How did he do this? By exercising his freedom to limit his choice. And by riding his bicycle pretty much everywhere… and then at least one more mile before he goes home.
James, in his letter to the early church speaks of the double minded man, “that man should not think he shall receive anything from the Lord…” This scripture used to really bother me. It just sounds so, well, mean. Come on, sometimes I second guess, does this mean I should not expect any of my prayers to be answered? Then I really began to study this passage and found that the double minded person is one who is always leaving his or her options open. The double minded person may say something like this: “I will commit this thing to the Lord, and if God doesn’t come through, then, hey, I live in America, I have other choices!”
In the article about Scott Cutshall a noted psychiatrist says “…making choices depletes the same resource as exerting self-control. The more you engage in self control, the less, unfortunately, you have left over to put toward another self control endeavor.” Basically, the huge amount of choices we have saps our will power. How does one overcome this?
One of the nine fruits of the Spirit listed in Galations is “self-control.” As believers filled with the Spirit we have the ability to limit our choices.
The ancient Christians used to follow the practice of creating a “Rule of Life.” The order of St. Benedict was built around this notion of following a “rule” or regimen of life. Here in America we seem to have forgotten how to tap into the power of regimen.
So, here goes, this is my plan for the new year: to put myself on a regimen, to prayerfully develop a rule of life and to trust the power of the Holy Spirit who lives in me to enable me to follow it.

What Are You Afraid Of?

The other day I was getting into my car and my foot began to slip. The very next second my stomach began to twist into a knot. I recognized this feeling as fear. Fear is a primary emotion. Most other emotions are born out of fear. Remember the last time you were angry? The anger was probably the fruit of some fear. Perhaps you were afraid of losing control of something. Maybe you were afraid of being rejected, or perhaps you were scarred of losing someone’s respect. Anger was the secondary emotion that was brought about by fear.
Sometimes what I call love is really fear disguised as love. My love for someone can be misguided fear of being rejected by that person. I am afraid I won’t be loved.
I recently began an inventory of my fears. I started out with the main ones: rejection, pain, death… with those three written down in my journal I thought I was done. I closed my journal and then began to see in my mind all the other things I am afraid of: losing my job, losing my family, sickness in myself or a family member, failure in my art (I mean, really, I like to make art and all, but if no one is looking at it…), making a bad decision, being misunderstood (that one is a biggee for me), being ineffective, offending others… The list has just been getting bigger over the past few days.
The Lord tells us multiple times in scripture, “Fear not.” Therefore, to give in to fear is to disobey God. I am of the opinion that God would not command us to do something without also giving the power to obey the command.
Paul tells us in the second letter to Timothy “God has not given us the Spirit of fear but of love…” The opposite of fear is not bravery or courage… it is love. “True love cast out fear.” Fear can be a motivator. It motivated me to grab hold of the top of my car before I slid underneath it.
Fear can also be crippling. My desire is to let the love of God, the love that has been “shed abroad in my heart by the Holy Spirit,” motivate me.

The Cause for Christmas Celebration

“The Word became flesh and lived for awhile among us…” John 1:14
It is said of some people, “He is a man of his word.” Or, “She is a woman who keeps her word.” Our words, we wear them on our person; they go before us. Often others know us by the things we say. By our words we can reveal ourselves. Or by with our words we can conceal our true selves. Nothing is closer, more intimate to us than our words.
John, in his gospel account introduces Jesus as the word… God’s Word. There is nothing truer, nothing more solid than God’s Word. There is nothing more creative than God’s word.
Check out the beginning of the Genesis account. God’s word was the medium used to paint and sculpt the world and all the people in it. God’s word was the brush that applied the color. The very color itself was born out of the word of God. His word was the chisel that shaped and formed every facet, every concave and convex shape of this world.
This is a cause for celebratory response. You can feel it in the first words of John. “In the beginning was the word… in him was life and that life was the light of men.” (vs. 4) Isn’t this what Christmas is all about? It is a celebration of God’s Word; God’s creative word. His Word is not just breathed out into the air – His word put on skin and came to live among us for awhile.
His word is not just ink on a page. God’s word is living and active in our lives today. The word of God came in the form of a baby, born in a wooden manger; lived and breathed the air of this earth; died on a wooden cross; buried in a cave of dirt and rock, came forth from death and ascended back to the Father, the originator of the Word. Then He gave us his Spirit so that the word would live in us; in our flesh, and continue to bring forth light into darkness.

Art and Fear

Are you one of those artists who are constantly struggling to get to the business of making art? Have you found yourself asking the same lame questions over and over again? Questions like: why should I continue to make art? Who cares about my art? Or maybe other questions like these: where can I find the time to make my art? There are so many other more important things of life taking up my time, why should I take the time to do art? Today I was reminded of a book I read a couple years ago. Actually when I read it a couple years ago, that was the third time I read it. There are very few books that I read over, but this one, I believe, the Lord put in my hands to encourage me. I often get into creative slumps and need a boost; some encouragement, and when I do I read this book. I have been in one of those slumps lately. Perhaps it's time to pick it up again. The book is called Art & Fear: Observations on the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking by David Bayles and Ted Orland

Here are couple of quotes that I have underlined in my copy:
"Artists quit when they convince themselves that their next effort is already doomed to fail. And artists quit when they lose the destination for their work- for the place their work belongs."

"Artists don't get down to work until the pain of working is exceeded by the pain of not working." Stephen DeStaebler

"Making art provides uncomfortably accurate feedback about the gap that inevitably exists between what you intended to do, and what you did."

The Bible exhorts us to get wisdom. There is a lot of wisdom in this book for artists of all walks of life. I highly recommend it.

What is Important to You?

“Does anything matter more than your pain?”
I heard this question posed yesterday on a radio program.
It’s a good question because it gets at the heart how most of us live our lives. We live as if personal satisfaction and pleasure was the real purpose of living. I have come to realize in my own life that pain avoidance is not the most important thing in the world. There are bigger things in this world than my own pain.
Ask yourself this question when you are going through a difficult time. Perhaps you are ready to give up on some creative project that you recently begun. There is always a point where continuing the project becomes painful in some way. You started the project with pleasure and excitement but for some reason it has become uncomfortable and you are ready to chuck it. Ask yourself, “Is finishing the project more important than the current pain I am experiencing?” This is just one small example from an artist’s perspective. I deal with this kind of thing in my own life all the time.
The world teaches us that we should pursue pleasure over everything else. We are not people fashioned in the image of God with the purpose of giving Him glory. We are consumers who have the right to choose any new product that helps keep our pain at bay. I see this in the church world. If a church is not meeting my needs I can just go to the one down the street. I am curious though, when did the church become about meeting my needs?
The antidote to my pain is commitment to something bigger than myself. Jesus told us we would experience pain in this world “but be of good cheer,” He said, “I have overcome the world.” Jesus was committed to following His Father completely, even to death on the cross. His life was an example of one living for something bigger than himself. Now as a believer I know that because of the indwelling Holy Spirit His life is in me. I have to remember this when He gives me a vision to pursue. Like Paul I am enabled by the Spirit to “finish the course” and press on through the pain.

Life is a Paradox

We live our life dying. Paul tells us that we are "outwardly wasting away, but we are inwardly being renewed every day."

Think about this: we all have the same destiny -- we all die. One day my place on this earth will be empty. A vacant spot will remember me for a short while, but soon it will be filled by another and my place will remember me no more. The Bible speaks of our lives being like the grass of the fields, here today, gone tomorrow. In the big scheme of things my life is but a vapor that passes away before anyone really notices. What will be said of me when I die? How will I die? When will I die? I am not morbidly asking such questions, I only ask to make myself mindful of the life I have now -- today. There is only one life. We are "appointed to live once and then to judgment." I have so much time to complete this assignment, then comes the critique. Will I pass or fail? This is not a graded course... it is pass or fail only. It all depends on how I live this one life I have been given.

May we live our lives mindful of our death. This is the tension in which we must live if we are to live the abundant life our Savior came to give us.

Why should I waste precious time being down in the dumps? I have one life, one chance.
Lord, may I live my life daily in your light, mindful of my death. May the vacant place I leave on this earth be a place of light rather than a place of darkness.

Why do you create?

Personally, I need some kind of motivation to create something. I have no desire to simply create something for the simple sake of creation. Sure it’s fun to create but then what?

God’s first act in human history was to create. “In the beginning God created…” (Gen. 1:1) Why did God create? Was he just having a good day, feeling in the mood to make something? The rest of the passage tells us: “ … the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep…” Could it be that God was aware of the emptiness and darkness and had the desire to bring form and light to this vastness?

So, why do I create? Am I aware of the darkness and emptiness in the world? Could it be that my little bit of creation can bring a bit of light; a bit of form into the world? I believe that the motivation to make something beautiful must come from an awareness of the lack of light; lack of form in some area.

It is interesting that most artists are highly sensitive. Sometimes this looks like selfishness; a desire to be understood by a world that often misunderstands them. I believe God gives this heightened sensitivity to artists so that they may become aware of areas of darkness and formlessness in thier world. My word to the artist: Do you see the formlessness? Do you see the darkness? Rather than crying about being misunderstood, take that sensitivity and begin creating something. Bring some form into the world; bring some light into the world. This is what it is all about for the artist: creating form that brings light.

Does the form you create bring some light into your world?

Poverty of Heart

"I went by the field of the lazy... and there it was all overgrown with thorns... A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest - and poverty will come on you like a bandit..." Prov. 24:30-34

As I read this Proverb I am reminded of Jesus parable of the seeds (or soils). "Some seed," Jesus said, "fell among the thorns." Jesus later said that the thorns which choked the life out of the plant represented the "cares, riches, pleasures of life..."

No one wants to live in poverty. No one desires to be in want. How easy it is to fall into the open mouth of poverty.

I don't think this proverb is referring only to monetary poverty. How easy it is for me to find myself in mental poverty, aesthetic poverty, spiritual poverty, poverty of truth. Poverty is a place of want in my heart. Striving after the cares, riches and pleasures of life can actually lead to poverty of heart -- a poverty of the Kingdom of God in my life. The fruit that could be produced in my life is choked out by the thorns.

Put another way: "A little work; a little thoughtfulness; a little prayer, and you will find yourself in wealth of resources - mental, physical, spiritual."

Lord, the temptation is so great to fold my hands; to slumber. Deliver me from temptation. Help me to focus on you and your Kingdom.

Beauty and love are close relatives to one another

It is a sin to look on the gift of God with disdain. I recently heard myself making the following statement: no one really cares about art – why should I make it? Why should I teach it? The Lord has convicted me for this statement. I had to repent for this. Looking on the gift of God with this kind of negative attitude is sin. Art, creativity, beauty are all gifts of grace from the Father. I must internalize this into my heart. Often my motivation to do something comes from the practical application of that thing. We search in vain to find practical application for beauty. It is its own reason for being. The purpose of beauty is beauty. Period. God gave beauty as a gift to us; a gift of grace to an otherwise ugly world.

Love and value

Been thinking about love. I have asked the Lord to help me out with this; with understanding this. I must confess that I just don't know what it really means to love, I mean, really love in the way Jesus commands us to love. If I claim to be a disciple of Christ I am found a liar if I do not love others in the way He loves me. Well, I am not sure I understand His love for me, I mean, I guess I do in a head knowledge kind of way.

During this time, I have also been thinking about values. What do I value? Why? How do my decisions and actions prove my values? I have discovered that though I may say I value something I don't really value it unless my valuing that thing or person or idea reveals itself in my actions; my being. There are lots of things I say I value: my family, art, my job, my students, the Bible, my church, missions, evangelism, giving to the poor, justice, discipleship. Well, I can honestly say that some of my values are real and they are lived out in my life. But others, well, they are just good ideas for me.

God in His wonderful way brought these things together for me this past week. Sy Rogers, a former homosexual came to speak at the chapel at the college where I teach. Part of his message was focused on love. He gave his definition for love by changing the word love to the word: value. "For God so valued the world that He sent His only Son..." He went on to discuss ways in which we show people we value them: acceptance: "I accept you just the way you are, I am not going to wait until you change or get better in order to accept you. You don't have to jump through any hoops for me to accept you." Accountability: "Because I accept you, I want you to get better, I want you to be all you were created to be. I will not settle for you staying in a bad place in your life." Affirmation: "I will continue to love you, seek to understand you."

Love and value go together, they intimately intertwined.